Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Impolite or Dead?? Those are My Options?

Quote of the day, from police sargent to me:
"Ma'am, would you rather be impolite or dead?"

A guy knocked on the door during Barrett's naptime and I answered as quickly as I could to keep him from ringing the doorbell and waking the baby.  Long story short, he was selling magazines, it was for a good cause, and would I buy one?  Okay...  Things went downhill from here, after some weird comments about our house, questions about our family and what we did for a living, ending in me just giving him a "cash donation" to get him to leave and then him yelling at me from my driveway for not buying his magazine.  The neighbor called the police.  (I did too...)

The city's finest were there in about 2 minutes flat.  The officer asked why in the world I even opened the door in the first place.  I explained that I didn't want to be impolite and risk hurting the guy's feelings (okay, when I say it out loud, I realize how stupid this sounds). 
Insert officer's quote here, appropriately putting me in my place. 
Apparently, there has been a rash of burglaries where the teens (aka perps, are you impressed by my cop talk?) come to the house during the day, talk their way inside to "case the joint" and then come back later to rob them.  Officer McToughGuy told me to never answer the door and learn how to use a gun.  (really??  wow... but after Kristopher heard this story, he is determined to teach me how to shoot.  I think I'll get one with a pearl handle.  Can they monogram gun handles??)

Let this be a lesson to all -- especially me, as the idiot who opened the door -- as much as we would like to think the best in everyone, strangers to not always have our best interests at heart.

And to all the bad guys out there -- in the words of Academy Award winning actress, Sandra Bullock:
"If you so much as set foot [on our property] you will be sorry.  I'm in a prayer group with the DA, I'm a member of the NRA, and I'm always packing...  It's a Saturday night special.  And it shoots just fine every other day of the week too."

I'm not in the DA's prayer group, but the rest will be true very soon.  So bad guys beware!


  1. when i lived in birmingham i had someone yell at me through the door when i shut it and said i wouldn't buy stupid magazines. crazy people.

  2. That is crazy! Come to find out, 5 people called the police on this guy. Creepy. And the magazine he was selling was $64 + $15 for s&h -- !!! Sounds like a scam.

  3. Okay, you didn't offer a penny for my thoughts on this one - BUT, let me just sum it all up by saying . . I agree with the police sergeant!!! Yeah, people can be creepy AND crazy.

  4. Micah has offered to make you a pretty box to hold your monogrammed pearl-handled pistol. He says he can make one that look like a jewelry box!

  5. Yes! I'd love that! And you know how I like to have a place for everything.
    KCK is still laughing at me for wanting to get it monogrammed/engraved/whatever. I'm going to practice shooting Angelle's soon so I can see if I like it. Who knew there were so many gun options?? It's like picking out shoes.